Singledom and solitude: 3 advantages compared to being in a relationship

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Singledom and solitude: 3 advantages compared to being in a relationship
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As they say, “it’s better to be alone than unhappy”. However, many people fear the single life or are slow to end a relationship for fear of being alone. Here are at least 3 advantages to going solo, according to Jacqueline Kelen, a writer and the author of a book on the spirit of solitude. 

1) The chance to take time for yourself

In Western society, solitude is all too often associated with isolation, separation, sadness, being abandoned or other negative concepts. However, we need to be alone at least from time to time, in order to rest, clear our heads, and simply take time for ourselves. Meditation can be a good way to prevent the anxiety of solitude.

Being single is the chance to be able to do pretty much whatever you want. For example, you can head off on holidays or for a weekend away with whoever you like, whenever you like. You can work wherever you want in the world. You can meet whoever you want, with no ambiguity and no strings attached, whether it’s a sports partner or a lover. You can sign up for a club or a society  exploring your own interests (volunteering for social or humanitarian organisations, maybe a photography class, a drama class, etc.).

2) The chance to get to know yourself better

Solitude, finding yourself alone with yourself for a certain period of time, gives you the time to really get to know yourself, to better understand yourself and analyse your faults, your strengths, your actions and behaviours, etc. This self knowledge is important in order to understand that we need to love ourselves and have confidence in ourselves.

This internal knowledge also helps us better open up to others, and thus open up the possibility of meeting the right person. Jacqueline Kelen recommends writing in a journal “everything you would like to do or experience, all the dreams that you have without letting rationality get in the way.”

3) The chance to make yourself happy

Everyone is responsible for their own lives and their own choices, even if it can sometimes be difficult to take this on board. Solitude often teaches us “a good lesson”, according to the author. “We first need to look after ourselves, and not others. We first need to know that we can count on ourselves and help ourselves. And other people will be drawn to you because they are not only there to fill any emptiness within you or to fill up your life”. 

The idea is that everyone is responsible for their own happiness, and not the happiness of others. Its up to us to do something about it.


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