During a study in June 2014, 36% of French people aged 35 or older said that having an orgasm at the same time as their partner was important during sex. (This was the opinion for 42% of men and 30% of women taking part in the study.) Why do we want to have a simultaneous orgasm as much? Why do we get stressed or frustrated if we don’t manage to? Read on to find out more.
A simultaneous orgasm is something many couples look to achieve when having sex. However, if we look at physiology and statistics, this ideal is very rare for couples to actually accomplish. Female and masculine body rhythms are far from coordinated. In fact a man will have an orgasm on average four times faster than a woman.
Communication is the most effective way to reach seventh heaven at the same time as your partner. However it is pointless to spoil the moment by making your partner feel guilty that they haven’t had an orgasm fast enough just so that you can share this moment together. Here are 6 tips to help you have a simultaneous orgasm with your partner without getting frustrated.
1. Communicate with your partner
As mentioned earlier, communication is essential during sex as it is an intimate moment that you share with your partner. If you want to find out if your partner is reaching a climax or is not quite there yet simply ask. If you feel that you are both not at the same point change position and touch yourself as you would alone and maybe now this long awaited moment will arrive.
2. Hold back your partner (with a sex toy if necessary)
Once again, men climax much faster than their female partners. Ask your partner to wait so as to try and slow down this crucial moment. If he can’t you could try using a cock-ring. This small sort of sextoy is placed before an erection at the base of the penis so as to prolong as well as slow down ejaculation.
3. Focus on the preliminaries
So as to heat up the temperature, talk to your partner by encouraging him not to take his time but also not to rush. Remind him of what you love. You could play with a sex toy if you know that vibrations help you to let go faster.
4. Don’t get obsessed by it
Remember that simultaneous orgasms are a rare moment for a couple. Don’t put pressure on yourself by focusing too much on reaching a climax together. On the contrary, you need to completely let go when you have an orgasm. If you constantly think about it you will miss out on your own desire!
5. Get to know yourself
It is essential to know yourself. So that you can explain to your partner what makes you go wild, you need to experiment on yourself in private. Once again, communication between you and your partner should be natural without being embarrassing or taboo subjects.
6. Don’t worry about it and just have a laugh
Don’t worry if you haven’t managed to have a simultaneous orgasm. There is always the next time you try. While you wait don’t be scared to discuss your previous attempt with your partner. Have a laugh together about good times in bed and get yourselves back under the covers!