Rare are the couples who don’t experience jealousy. As long as it doesn’t go too far, and start restricting people’s freedom, jealousy can be acceptable. However, it is when it goes past certain limits that it can be dangerous for the survival of the relationship. So how can you protect yourself and your relationship from this kind of destructive jealousy?
1) Work on your own self confidence
In order to keep jealousy at bay, there is nothing like having confidence in yourself! Make sure you engage in one or more activities that you do yourself, without your partner. Choose activities that appeal to you the most – a sport, a creative hobby, volunteering for a cause that is important to you, etc. The busier your life is, the less time you will spend feeling jealous, and the more you will be able to breathe easily.
2) Be aware of your own qualities
To have confidence in yourself, you need firstly to be aware of your own strengths. If it helps you to come up with them and remember them, write down your strengths and achievements. Read back over this list at times when you have doubts.
3) Learn how to control your feelings
When you feel a fit of jealousy poking its nose out, try to control your feelings and reactions, by putting yourself in your partner’s place. You may become aware that you wouldn’t like to be put through what you are putting them through. Trying to mentally switch roles can sometimes be the best way of calming down.
4) Recognise your own faults
Generally, in a relationship, there is one person who is more jealous than the other. If the jealousy is coming from a lack of confidence in yourself, rather than from your partner’s behaviour, it is important to recognise and accept this about yourself. This acceptance should help you combat negative emotions linked to jealousy the next time they arise.
5) Have independent social lives
Most often, healthy and balanced couples each have their own separate activities. Just like you should allow yourself to go out or see your friends, you should also allow your partner to take care of their own social life. Whatever the case, it is better that each person has their own friends, so that your social life does not depend on your partner.
6) Learn from your past relationships
When you start to feel jealously overcoming you, think back to relationship problems you had with your exes. This quick journey into the past could help you be aware of a pattern in yourself, and could help you make positive changes in your own behaviour, for the good of your current relationship. The goal is obviously to avoid repeating the same mistakes, and to save your current relationship.
7) Communication, communication, communication!
Your partner can also help you manage your jealousy, as long as you share your feelings with him or her. If they understand your feelings, they will be better able to reassure you and help you both reinforce your relationship.