It is not always easy to make good choices in your life, especially when they are difficult and affect another or several people. How do you make a good decision? Although there is not an official technique to help you make the right choice, these five exercises which are recommended by professionals could help you out!
1) Empty your mind
Empty your mind of all the stresses and exterior comments so that you can concentrate on what you feel inside your body. Here is an exercise from Patrick-André Chéné, the director of the Academy of Caycedian Sophrology in Paris and practicing sophrologist, which could help you choose the best direction.
- Sit yourself down with your back straight and focus on all parts of your body where you are feeling tensions. Relax your muscles but stay receptive and awake.
- Try and determine where you a feeling tense. Is it you face, your neck and shoulders, your thorax-abdomen, or your lower back and legs? What feelings, emotions or intuitions are you aware of when you start to think about the choice you need to make? It could be a feeling of stress, tension, fear, a resounding yes or a feeling of excitement.
- Concentrate on this zone and breath deeply with you mouth to release any tension for a few minutes.
- Next you should fill the emptiness that you have created with positive thoughts. This exercise should improve your well-being and start to help you make your choice.
2) Figure out your desire and give it a go
Listen to your desire and your gut instincts when you make a decision. If your decision corresponds to your desires, it should fill you with positive emotions according to Cecile Kapfer who is a psychologist and psychotherapist. Here is a way to try out your decision:
- Take a piece of paper and a pencil. Give your project a title and a completion date. Write a detailed summery of your project as if you have already done it.
- While writing this summery, be aware of how you feel and note down any of your emotions. If your emotions are positive there you will know that it is a good choice!
3) Trust your intuition
As the American psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers said, “Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.”
Here is some advice to help you follow your gut:
- If you have to choose between one or several people, ask yourself, “Am I sure that I want to see them or speak to them?“
- Study your reactions when you think about this person or activity and whether they are positive (joy, happiness, excitement) or negative (indifference, disgust, lack of motivation...). You will know what choice to make.
In summery, you need to know how to see and interpret the signs that are produced inside you to help confirm an intuitive decision. Our gut instinct will often give us the right answer without us realising it.
4) Stand up for yourself without hurting others
Your choices often implicate more than one person. The ideal situation is to achieve what you want without affecting the needs of those close to you or starting a conflict
Before speaking about your decision with others, think about the arguments that you can present to them to justify your choice. Emphasise you needs and your arguments first before revealing your decision.
If the other people doesn’t know how to react, leave them time to think about your decision and digest the news. You can then bring up the discussion later. If you need to, try to reach a consensus (where the two desires are taken into account) and not a compromise (when one gets what they want and the other doesn’t).
So that you are free to realise your decision, it is important to let go of any fears, inhibitions and doubts. You are better to put a concrete action plan in place so that you can get rid of negative emotions.
Visualize yourself in the situation that you have made the decision and imagine that everything is going well. You feel your success. Try and remember a situation that has given you an equivalent sense of happiness and relive that memory. Mix the two scenes until you feel good. When making your decision or announcing it to someone, re-visualize this scene and these positive emotions.