in

Having a second child? How to prepare the eldest

© Pixabay
Having a second child? How to prepare the eldest
5 (100%) 1 vote

deuxième enfant famille Docteur Tamalou Pixabay
© Sathyatripodi / Pixabay

After the baby is born

If despite all your preparation, your older child still reacts in anger or moodiness, here are a few recommendations to help make the transition smoother.

Include the older child in the baby’s everyday care: whether you are breastfeeding or giving bottles, have the older child by your side, so that they can be part of feeding the baby. You can also have them help putting cream on the baby, or help with dressing them.

Give them one to one quality time: although the eldest child will have to create a sibling relationship with their little brother or sister, it is also important that they still have alone time with you, so that they feel nothing has really changed. Going to the park, the zoo, or even just to do the shopping could be ways of both including them in the new family routine, and of sharing memorable moments with them.

Don’t make a big deal of the situation: the arrival of a new baby is a big step in the eldest child’s life. Jealousy is mainly seen in children of 3-4 years of age, when children are in the oedipal phase. Some wet the bed, or start demanding their bottles again, even if they gave them up a long time ago. It is best to pretend to ignore such behaviours, and they will stop of their own accord in the following month or two.

Don’t allow any aggression or violence towards the baby: It is essential to quickly put rules and limits in place: no name calling, no hitting, no biting. Explain to your child that you understand their problems, that it is okay for them to feel angry, but that they have to find other ways of expressing it.

Listen to their emotions: when a new baby is born, all the attention from friends and relations goes towards the baby. It is a good idea to give the older child a present at the same time as the baby gets one.

Have them draw pictures. You can get your child to draw a picture of their family. If they can’t put words on their emotions, they might be able to draw them out. Discuss their drawing with them, mentioning the position on the paper of each of the family members. The goal is to show them that they still have their place in the family, and that you are still there for them.

Related articles:

Speed up the birthing process with the pregnancy ball method

Q&A: Dreaming you are pregnant: What does it mean?

Pregnancy: what is the best sleeping position?