Pascale Piquet, a relationship coach and therapist explained in an interview with RTL, why friends with benefits is not always a good idea. Read on to discover her advice about this tricky line to draw between friends or lovers.
In films or television series characters might strike up “friends with benefits” relationships that seem to work well, however in reality this is not the case. According to the specialist, mixing friendship and sex often finishes badly. When two friends sleep together they can either get a lot of pleasure or not at all!
Pascale Piquet has met many people who have tried this type of relationship and failed. According to people that she spoke to a sex friend relationship is rarely balanced as there is often one who is more attached than the other and takes the initiative in the sexual relationship.
The problem is that there is often an attachment made by one person that is not reciprocated by the other. As with all relationships, even outwith the context of sex friends, one person could be more into the relationship and become codependent.
The relationship specialist defined sex friends as “sex between consenting adults without any feeling.” However she highlighted that in general this type of relationship ends badly as one of the friends is more attached than the other who does not reciprocate this attachment.
Be careful of jealousy
A 26 year old women confided her account of a “friends with benefits” situation on RTL Girls: “I felt totally used when my “friend with benefits” flirted blatantly with other girls in front of me, especially my friends who were meant to be there for me.”
For other people they felt they had got enough out of this type of relationship as they not longer had a desire. Otherwise the relationship did not continue as it was only sparked by a weakness or a special circumstance like anger, revenge alcohol or drugs.
According to Pascale Piquet, it is better not to sleep with a friend that we see too often who is part of your close circle because it can quickly affect other people than the two friends. She also advises to ensure no attachment is present between the two to avoid any conflict and make sure that you can control you actions and emotions by being sober!