In the majority of breakups, one person is more hurt than than the other. And sometimes, we can really fall “into a black hole” and feel that we’ll never get out of it, if our ex doesn’t reappear as if by magic. Wrong! Even if you are deeply hurt, as long as there is air in your lungs, you can still rise to the surface, regardless of the circumstances. But in concrete terms, what can you actually do? Here is how to get over your ex in just 10 steps.
1) Don’t stay in contact
Put a stop to the calls and messages, delete their number from your telephone and delete them from your friends lists on social networks, even change our own number if needs be (if he or she continues to call you 6 months later….). In short, cut all contact and anything linking you to your ex. Unfortunately, it is better to stop the contact with their friends as well, even if you were also close to them.
In this way, you won’t be hovering over your telephone waiting for a call or text!
2) Keep busy
After a breakup, we have the tendency to think about our ex 24/7, giving our brains no rest, and keeping them on overdrive from morning until night. So stop the obsessing and give yourself a kick in the bum to get out and about, get moving and distract your brain. Now you have more free time, you can make the most of it and follow your passions or whatever notions pop into your head. Here are a few examples:
- Sign up for a course or a club -dancing, boxing, singing, astronomy –anything you’ve ever dreamed of or thought you’d like to try out.
- Put on some music at home, sing and dance like Baloo in “The Bear Necessities” (The Jungle Book).
- Go for a walk, a run, a cycle, or a swim. Or even go ice skating or to the cinema…
- Sign up for a cookery course, try out photography or art-deco, learn how to sew, to paint, to draw, etc.
- Volunteer with an organisation that means a lot to you, or write a screenplay.
- Have you always dreamed of starting a business, a charity or a foundation? Now is the time! Go for it!
You will find yourself flourishing in your new activities, giving off such radiance that you may end up surrounded by more suitors than you know what to do with! And yes, happiness attracts people, both romantically speaking and in general!
3) Open your eyes
“Did you see how that guy looked at you?!” The phrase often uttered by your friends, but that you are never open to hearing, because you immediately lower your eyes and “stay in your bubble”. Open your eyes and you’ll see how men/women are smiling at you or giving you long looks. Allow yourself be approached if you like the look of the person.
Next, open your eyes to your ex. You are sure to have broken up for a good reason: lack of trust, lack of love, lack of sex, lack of attention, lack of attraction, etc. Sometimes it’s even a mixture of several reasons that caused the breakup, meaning there is no room for regret. Remind yourself of their faults and all the time you spent suffering over them.
4) Flirt and let yourself be flirted with
After a breakup, go out, dance and have fun at concerts, festivals, sporty weekends with a club or in a group -anywhere you can meet new people!
You will meet new people, so try to find your feet with flirting again. Stay open to flirting and even being seduced by someone, without necessarily sleeping with anyone before you are ready, and especially not under the influence of alcohol. Give them time to win you over. Your self confidence will build up faster, and with it your confidence in your powers of seduction.
5) Plan outings and projects
One of the best ways of getting over your ex is to make plans, organise things and make them happen.
There are sure to be outings, activities, projects and travel plans you would like to make come true. And it’s now or never for getting going -there’s nothing and no one holding you back!