In 1997, when studying the concept of intimacy, Arthur Aron, psychology professor at Stony Brook University, New York created a questionnaire designed for two people who didn’t know each other so they could fall in love. The results quickly surpassed his initial hopes for the project.
One of the trial couples even went on to marry six months later. Others who carry out this series of questions may go on to follow their example. Arthur Aron believes that he has solved one of the mysteries of love: partner vulnerability and intimate confessions create the right conditions for love to unfold. However this trial has one flaw, everyone chose to take part in the project. No more spontaneous meetings in pubs, bars or between friends of friends!
If the couple didn’t fall in love with one another, Arthur Aron believes that the questionnaire can also build lasting friendships. The success of the exercise lies in being open to asking ourselves intimate questions. Questions which can make us falter, think twice and choose… But our questions define us more than our answers. This process allows us to capture a moment of self-truth.
Self vulnerability and falling in love
By making us vulnerable, the test is able to show our true self which creates intimacy between two people. The questions have the ability to reveal an unknown or a rarely seen side to a person by they way in which they respond, display emotions or remain silent. The questions put us in an uncomfortable situation and it is this strangeness which can make us desirable and make us want to fall in love.
Find the questionnaire on the following page →