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What is your partner fantasising about?

What is your partner fantasising about?
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80 to 100% of men and women have sexual fantasies. Fantasy refers to everything that relates to the erotic imagination, for example erotic thoughts or dreams. According to our gender, our fantasies can be quite different. So what do people fantasise about? And what do their fantasies mean? 

What do women fantasise about?

Since the 1960s, numerous studies from around the world have confirmed that female fantasies are fairly sentimental, and often filled with fantasies featuring emotions and/or submission/domination.

Certain women feel the desire to be tied up, whipped or generally dominated, while others prefer to take the lead and control their partners.

If a woman enjoys fantasies about being dominated, this could be masking a difficulty with truly letting go, but it could also be that she simply takes pleasure in these kinds of games.

According to studies on the matter, women often tend to dream about exhibitionism, revealing themselves and of being immodest. This type of fantasy is easily explained, because in real life, many women find it hard to accept their bodies and their imperfections.

Feminine desires can also feature homosexual fantasies with less penetration and more foreplay, often in a romantic setting. Emotions are generally present.

What do men fantasise about?

The male external sex organ leads men to fantasising about possession and power. They therefore generally dream of domination, and of women being tied up or being submissive.

Men’s erotic imagination is more visual and more directed to things that are purely sexual: having sex, penetration, orgasming, ejaculating, etc.

This explains how men can feel intense pleasure while watching pornography: naked beautiful women exposed to their eyes, who are having orgasms (even if they know that the majority of it is just acting).

Finally, men have more fantasies about sex with other partners than their own, for example about extramarital affairs.

A type of therapy based on fantasies

It is not considered normal to not have any fantasies.

If there is an absence of fantasies in a couple, there is probably an absence of sexual desire.

In such cases, a sex therapist could be of help. Sex therapy uses the erotic imagination, particularly fantasy, in order to figure out the problem and help the patient develop awareness of what is going on for them. Next, the patient is directed towards changing their thinking or their sexual practices.