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Relationships: does it matter how often you have sex?

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Relationships: does it matter how often you have sex?
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There is no right or wrong in terms of how often you and your partner have sex. When it comes to sexual relationships, most couples tend to fall into certain habits in terms of frequency. But from time to time, libido can wane, and men and women’s sex drives are not necessarily the same. So what is the average frequency? And does it matter?

Why do we care about the average frequency of sex: competitive spirit or pure pleasure?

According to an enquiry into sexuality conducted by the national institute for health and medical research in France, along with the national statistics office and the national agency for research on AIDS and hepatitis, couples have sex on average 8.7 times per month, roughly twice a week. 

People often ask themselves the question of whether the amount of sex they are having is “normal”. However, what is normal? Having sex the same number of times as the average couple? Unless you like the idea of regularly checking the national average and doing comparisons, it is better to concentrate on the particular and changing needs of your own relationship.

According to sex therapists, the only effective way of having a satisfying amount of sex is communication within the relationship.

With the constraints of everyday life, and the lack of time for ourselves, sex drive can suffer, which has an impact on the frequency of sex within a relationship. It is important for a couple to talk about their wants and desires, and to put time aside for sex.

The right frequency = the frequency that suits the couple

In the majority of relationships, a gradual decline in the amount and duration of sex is normal. The most important thing is that both partners are happy with the rhythm they fall into. The sexual passion that characterises the early stages of a relationship can give way to a more spiritual, emotional, intellectual or other type of connection, which evolves over time.

When a couple starts to have less sex, it can sometimes be due to a lack of communication. It isn’t always easy to admit to another person your most private and intimate desires, but daring to communicate openly can be the saving of your sex life!

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